Let’s Talk About Sex

By: Chauna-Kaye Pottinger

Well, here we are. Brick by brick, pillar by pillar, we’ve been building a fortress. It is strong enough to weather the storms of marriage. We’ve fasted and prayed. We’ve been honest and earned respect. We rebuilt trust and learned how to reconcile like pros. We added a little spice with enticement and embraced the power of godly submission. Now, it’s time to talk about the final, and let’s be honest, fan-favorite pillar of The Love Fortress: Sexual Satisfaction.

Yes, church folks, we’re going there. And no, the sanctuary won’t collapse.

The Taboo That Shouldn’t Be

Let’s be honest. Somewhere along the pews, pulpits, and prayer meetings, sex got either shamed into silence or watered down into something transactional: “duty sex,” “make-up sex,” or “marital obligation.” Yikes. The church, while full of good intentions, has often mishandled the conversation around sex. Either it’s avoided altogether like a scandalous secret or reduced to something carnal and sinful, unless you’re trying to make a baby, and even then, keep it quiet.

But let’s go back to the Garden for a minute. Before the fall, before shame, before fig leaves: there was nakedness and no shame. God didn’t awkwardly look away when Adam saw Eve and said, “Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh!” That brother was into her. And God didn’t pull him aside like, “Hey, bro… tone it down.” He smiled and said, “Be fruitful and multiply.” Translation: “Enjoy yourselves!”

Sex wasn’t man’s invention. It was God’s gift. And like all His gifts: it was meant to bless, not burden.

Mutual Pleasure Is the Goal, Not a Bonus

Now let’s get real: sex should be mutually satisfying. It’s not a performance. It’s not one-sided. It’s not a race. One person should not cross the finish line. The other spouse should not be left staring at the ceiling wondering what just happened.

Too many couples have settled for silent frustration. Women, in particular, have been conditioned to think their climax is optional or “extra.” Sis, no. And bro, let’s not leave her behind on the express train to Pleasure Town. Sex was never designed to be selfish.

Talk about it. Before, during, and yes, even after. That post-game breakdown is just as holy as the act itself. What did you like? What made you feel close? What didn’t work? It’s not awkward: it’s intimacy in action.

Why Sexual Satisfaction Matters

Let’s stop acting like this is just physical. Sex is deeply emotional, spiritual, and psychological. It can heal wounds, build trust, break walls, and create a safe space where both spouses feel seen, wanted, and delighted in.

Here’s what a healthy sex life in marriage brings:

• Deeper connection: It’s like a soul handshake, but way more exciting.
• Stress relief: Yep, it’s better than a bubble bath or binge-watching your favorite series.
• Confidence boost: Knowing you’re desired does wonders for your self-esteem.
• Improved communication: Couples who talk about sex tend to talk about everything else better too.

And let’s not forget: it’s fun. Holy fun. Righteous, covenant-approved fun. If your bedroom feels more like a board meeting, it might be time to make a change. Rediscover the joy in it.

A Word for the Wounded

Some of us didn’t grow up hearing this. Some have been hurt, shamed, or misinformed about sex. If this topic stirs up guilt or grief, I see you. There’s grace. There’s healing. And there’s room for laughter and learning, even now. Don’t let your past script your present. This is a new chapter in your marriage, and yes: God wants it to be satisfying.

Finishing Strong (Pun Fully Intended)

Sex isn’t the cherry on top of your Love Fortress. It’s a foundational brick that locks in everything else. When done God’s way: with love, respect, communication, and laughter, it becomes a beautiful act of worship, bonding, and joy.

So here’s to finishing strong. Literally and figuratively. 😉

As we close out this Fortress Builder series, let me say this: protect what matters. Guard your marriage with all the pillars we’ve covered. Invest in each other. And don’t be afraid to enjoy one of God’s greatest gifts—with freedom, with passion, and with purpose.

And speaking of building strong marriages: mark your calendars! The Love Fortress Book will be available September 1, 2025, on all platforms where books are sold, including Audible. This isn’t just a book. It’s a marriage manual. It’s a love revival. It reminds you that with God, intentionality, and yes, even great sex, your marriage can be fortified like never before.

Tell a friend, plan to grab a copy, and get ready to transform your relationship from the inside out. The fortress is waiting, let’s build it together.

Chauna-Kaye Pottinger is a devoted Christian residing in sunny Orlando, Florida. As a loving wife and mother, she gracefully balances her roles with a fervent dedication to her faith. Chauna-Kaye’s heart is set on reaching Heaven, and she channels her passion into inspiring everyone she encounters to embark on the same spiritual journey. Through her blog, she shares insights, experiences, and unwavering enthusiasm for a life centered on faith and eternal purpose. Join Chauna-Kaye as she navigates the path to Heaven, encouraging others to walk alongside her in this transformative quest