Falling for Fall

By Chauna-Kaye Pottinger

There’s something exhilarating and invigorating about the fall. 

What is it about the fall? Is it the aroma of pumpkin spice fragrances that transforms any room making it a more warm, inviting and welcoming space? 

Could it be the sweet transition it brings, cushioning the brutal summer’s heat with a more tolerable temperature, which inevitably makes way for the sting of winter’s cold?

Maybe its the absolute beauty that blesses our eyes each time we behold it’s changing leaves provide us with a sweet and heavenly scenery. I may be wrong but it’s probably the amazing memories we get to share over a delectable meal while bonding with our families.

Fall is what I have come to view as the “almost wonderful time of the year”. Some may say “almost doesn’t count” but its quite the contrary in my view. Oh the things we can learn from the fall! In its simplest yet most profound form, what fall brings into full view is the constancy of change and the manner in which change is inextricably linked to all things in nature! 

The changing leaves of the winter is a visible reminder that there comes a time when we need not fight the change, but to allow it to sweep over us! To bask in its beauty just for that season and then make your exit when the right time comes. 

Acceptance is sometimes hard! But when we do accept the fact that one season of our life is over, and you go with the flow of what comes natural, that’s what’s invigorating. There are some relationships that have run their course, people who were only sent by God for a season and it’s time to close that chapter and focus on what’s next. 

There comes a time when all the signals that you know all too well are flashing their lights indicating that the time for change is here. Yet our response is to ignore them. 

Like fall, the leaves of summer must make way for the vicious winter. Before making its grand exit, the leaves does so by showing off its best and brightest colors. Going out with a bang. 

What about you? Do you have a hard time accepting the natural changes that come your way? Are you swimming against the tide? Maybe that’s the reason you are so tired, overwhelmed and frustrated. 

Let’s take a lesson from autumn. Embrace change! Dance along with the music and trust “that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

Chauna-Kaye Pottinger is a Christian, Wife and Mother who strongly embraces each an every opportunity to positively impact the lives of those she come in contact with. Her primary goal is to unite her skills and talents with the power of the Holy Spirit as she seeks to advance the cause of the gospel ministry.

Remembering Bunny!

My best friend went to see Fences and suggested that I check it out so we could share our thoughts on it. So I obliged and went to see the movie on December of 2016. Denzel Washington and Viola Davis showed-up and showed-out! The extraordinary thing about this film is that they delivered a stellar performance on what was considered an “ordinary” story line. It showed the intricacies that go unnoticed and the progression that life, chance and choices bring. Through that perspective we see that no life is truly ordinary at all.

I remember while watching the movie I turned to my husband and said “Denzel Washington (Troy in the movie) looks like my dad!” to which my husband agreed. Interestingly enough, the similarities between Troy and my father doesn’t end there. Like Troy, spending a few minutes in my father’s presence would leave you overtaken with a belly-full of laughter. On one occasion my brother France and Jaymie (my boyfriend at the time) stopped by the house on their way home and my dad being himself had us all on the floor, out of breath from laughter! We were laughing so hard we literally had to beg him to stop talking so we could take just one breath! Belly-busting laughter was the result of each word that fell from his lips.

As Troy, daddy had a huge personality. It was so big  it would “fill up a room and leave very little room for anyone else outside himself.” My siblings and I would joke about Daddy not being a day over 17. This was evident when after winning $7 Million dollars it took him less than two years to spend it all! And dont think for a moment that it was all on us! If conventional standards were used to measure our “father” and his role in our lives, I know for sure that he would have fallen short.  In truth, my father had his fair share of limitations.

My siblings will tell different stories about daddy’s level of involvement in their lives, but we would all agree on one thing. His home represented fun, freedom and good food. After a long and tiring day at the river, we all looked forward to big show down of a soccer, cricket, site-and-site, Chinese skip or “bat’s ball” game with all the kids on that street on any given Sunday or on a hot summer’s day. We felt protected in his massive presence. His home also represented delicious and nutritious meals because he was such an excellent cook. I would do anything to have his meals right now!

Daddy was present for all the major milestones in my life and although I am not alone when I say that my father was far from perfect, the movie Fences taught me something. It brought me to the reality that from birth to death we are the embodiment of our cultivated and inherited tendencies. Some of us through the help of the Holy Spirit and a supportive community of people are able to make better choices while others for various reasons fail. The discussion held between Rose and her son at the end of the movie helped me to accept my father’s shortcomings on the basis that people are incapable of giving something that they don’t have, but that should never prevent us from loving them. It should never prevent us from respecting who they are even if they don’t measure up to what society considers to be great. Doing this requires acknowledgment and acceptance. Regardless of our perspective, our angst, we cannot change them. We can choose to accept the providence that God did not make a mistake by placing them in our lives. The choice is to love in-spite of,  I understand that more so now.

15965965_10209471826207338_3500894428746734358_n

I can’t help but feel like I lost the time that the epiphany from Fences brought. It feels like it came 15 years too late. Within less than a month of watching this film, I lost my father to the cold, stinging hands of death and if I had it to do all over again, I would have told him I loved him more. I would have checked in on him. I wouldn’t be so absorbed in my life that no room was left for him. I could hear him saying whenever I called “this long time mi nuh hear from you…you can’t call me mon?” and that haunts me. The past, I can never go back and change, but I will spend the rest of my life honoring his memory. My children will hear tales about him, and  I will choose laughter as the medicine to combat life’s challenges.

In the last days of his life the conversations we had were some of the most conscious and sobering we’ve had all my life. Those memories are untouchable and I will treasure them for time and eternity. They are treasured because it was those conversations that led me to believe that God had finally taken up residence in my father’s heart. My fathers life was no ordinary life, it was extraordinary and his legacy lives on through us and his memories are carried deep within our hearts. I encourage you to Cherish the moments we have with those we love…and never miss an opportunity to show them that we love them!

Dear Mama,

We all have been touched in some way, shape or form by the cold hands of death. Having experienced the death of a mother I can attest to the fact that death stings. One of the things that I’ve done is to access resources on grief and loss. A very helpful coping technique which I got from the book “Grieve if you Must” is writing letters to the deceased loved one. It is my fundamental belief and conviction that my mother will never be able to read this letter. It is hoped that the sentiments shared will resonate with those who understand the silence of death and those who struggle with the pain of an undeliverable letter may find hope and peace in intense reflection.

Dear Mama,

It’s been almost nine years since you’ve been gone but the pain is still so real. For the most part I cope well throughout the year but some days like, mother’s day, your birthday and the anniversary of your passing are usually harder to get through. On some occasions when monumental achievements are attained I feel sad because I hate the fact that you have missed out on so many of the things that would have made you very proud.

Your departure has left deep wounds that will continue to take a lifetime to heal. I know for me, I struggled with feeling displaced after you were gone. As I sit here trying to use words to capture the feeling that overtakes me whenever I am on my way home, I fail miserably. You see Mama, home for me was always where you were. And that meant so much. In some ways it was my source of stability, emotional support, financial backing and a reservoir of love that kept me coming back for more. When the challenges of life began to set in, a simple call home would help to ease the burden.

I still remember, like it was yesterday, the feeling of returning home during my college days. Oh, how I looked forward to your infectious smile. We shared so much, laughing, singing and talking over some of life’s great challenges. The wisdom gleaned from such conversations has never left me. I sat at your feet and listened to stories upon stories about your childhood years or we would just sit down and laugh at old jokes that we’ve told over and over again. Oh how I wish I could relive just one more of those moments.

I miss being the first to wear one of your classy hats or a nice pair of shoes you bought; I would enjoy a belly full of laughter as I listened to you expressing your complete and utter annoyance and disgust at my audacity. I miss the days when you would get up at 6:00 in the morning, and as you enter my room you’d be singing your early morning chant “come Chauna daylight long time! Get up outta di bed and come fix mi breakfast”. Your deep sense of humor just would not allow you to miss an opportunity to laugh at a joke even if it was at your very own expense. The tenderness and warmth of the environment that you created all added to that homely feeling. The void you left is not fillable by any stretch of the imagination. But I just want to write to express my gratefulness to you for leaving behind a legacy so rich. For generations to come, the mention of your name will continue to bring a feeling of warmth and tenderness to the hearts and minds of its hearers.

Most of all Mama, I want to thank you for introducing me to the simple childlike faith which has served to strengthen my daily sojourn here on this Earth. You weren’t blessed with earthly riches, but you left a very handsome amount in your heavenly bank account. Even to this day, we stand as beneficiaries of the heavenly investments you’ve made throughout the years.  In retrospect, it may have been by divine providence that God chose to remove you from the picture. Your absence has lifted my focus on to where my true home is. You spent your life pointing me to it, but somehow I failed to see it. Today however, it is crystal clear that my life’s mission and purpose is to live a life for God and ultimately claim my true home, my eternal home.

The profound principles and life-lived lessons, which you have bequeathed to me, have removed any possible doubts of your eternal home being anywhere else but Heaven. With sentimental anticipation I savor the inspired words of Guy Penrod

 

“Knowing we can spend a lifetime reminiscing on the past,

knowing I will see your face again where tender moments last.

It makes me want to go there, knowing I won’t be alone,

knowing you’ll be there makes it easy to go on”.

I will continue the journey on this side of life, yearning for the grand reunion. For now, I will hold dear those memories that have served to sweeten my journey until together we finally make it to our eternal home.

Your Value Outweighs Your Failures!

By: Candice & Danny Williams

Recently, I had the difficult task of watching my high school basketball team suffer a traumatic loss in the semifinals of a tournament they had spent the entire semester preparing for. The game came down to a final shot, our leading scorer was able to get off before the final buzzer sounded but the ball rattled in the hoop and bounced out leaving our team once up by 18 points in the 2nd quarter shocked, stunned, frustrated and angry that they let the game slip through their fingers.

The leading scorer was especially devastated as was our starting point guard who missed several key free throws in the final moments of the game. “It’s my fault,” seemed to be theme of their mournful lament and both of these key players were inconsolable for a good while after the game ended. I left that scene with two important lessons: Basketball is a team sport. Individuals don’t win or lose games contrary to how the star obsessed media portrays sports highlights. Sure the hero gets the credit in the end, or blamed if he made a mistake at the end of the game, but that is not a true reflection of the outcome of the game. Team sports are won and lost by teams not individuals.

Every blown defensive assignment, every time a player failed to box out, or follow his shot, every missed free throw, every missed layup, every unwise pass by individual players from the beginning of the game until the end impacts the outcome of the game for the entire team. Similarly, in life we don’t live exclusively for ourselves. No man is an island…we are all are affected by each other’s mistakes, some of which might have happened at a seemingly insignificant part of our lives. But there is no insignificant part of our lives.  Every action counts, every decision is critical and impacts the whole outcome. We must never lose sight of the fact that our actions will always impact more than our individual selves.

Secondly, as I stood in that locker room after the game and witnessed the intensity of their grief, I wondered why is it that for die hard athletes competitive sports are so much more than just a game–for some it can seem to almost be a matter of life & death. As the popular saying goes for so many, “Ball is life.” Why is this? What if anything did our young players need to understand? Well I couldn’t say it any better than one assistant coach to a distraught young player, “You are more than this game…you are an amazing person”.  Talk about life lesson! I can’t tell you how many days I needed that one, and if we are honest I think we all do from time to time. Tough as it was to admit, that very important game wasn’t the sum of everything.

Of course no one will ever be able to minimize the sting of failing to win that game, but loosing might have very well had a more lasting impact on their character. You see, failure is unavoidable….but it is also compartmentalized. Every now and then we all need to be reminded what mistakes might have been made, but those mistakes don’t make us, so why stare at the rear view mirror and in the words of Indie Arie “wreck your future, running from your past”? Disappointments, they are inevitable, but discouragement need not be the choice we perpetually make. Choose instead to allow the lessons learned from failure to guide you to true success. I don’t know where you are today, maybe you needed to hear the timeless message for yourself, or maybe you can help someone who is struggling by speaking those words “you are more than this….you are an amazing person,” to someone else today. You see, we are all on the same team. Beating yourself up, or watching someone near you do the same benefits NO ONE!!!! Whatever “THIS” failure is, we are all more than IT. Somebody special thinks each one of us is worth way more than the sum of our past mistakes.

10 Things I Love About You ybaB!

loveThirty five years ago God in His infinite wisdom thought about me, and knitted together the love of my life Jaymie Pottinger. God blessed the womb of my mother-in-law when He created a first-rate man for me. Although not perfect, he is best suited for me. The journey of our marriage has been paved with bumps, curves, plateaus, valleys and mountains. It has been a kaleidoscope of refining, imperfect, maddening, joyous, agonizing and elating experiences that I would not trade for the world.  This very limited medium will not afford me the opportunity to share all the wonderful and amazing things that I love about you, and so I chose 10.

Ten Things I Love About You

  1. I Love Every Single Inch of your Anatomy. “His hands are rods of gold set with beryl; his abdomen is carved ivory inlaid with sapphires, his legs are pillars of alabaster set in pedestals of pure gold.”(Song of Solomon 5:14-15). When I first read this particular passage, I wondered whether or not the Queen of Sheba had ever seen you the way I have. These very words echo the sentiments that only I can know whenever granted the coveted opportunity of beholding all of you. Sometimes pinching myself is not enough to remind me that you are mine. My eyes feast on you, and your delicacies are meant for me only. You, undeniably satisfy me in every way conceivable. I am completely and utterly smitten by you.
  2. I Love the Way You Dress. Your sense of fashion and style is impeccable. Fitted shirts, fitted suits, skinny ties and wing-tipped shoes look great only because they are on you. Compliments on your attire are constantly received, but your desire is in ensuring that your number one admirer’s expectations are met- and trust me the expectations have been exceeded! You keep things fresh, and keep me guessing and I am proud to be the woman by your side.
  3. I Love the Way you Walk. With each step you take, the clear message sent is “I am a man on a mission”. Your walk epitomizes confidence, agility, passion and purpose. Speed and precision accompany all your tasks. You are intentional about everything you do and possess the skills, and the confidence in getting the job done. Your heart beats at the center of all that you do and I am proud to watch you succeed again and again.  Daily driven by a higher purpose, you are walking along the path of a purpose driven life.
  4. I Love that you are such an Exceptional Father to our Girls. The fact that our girls are growing into confident, self-assured and brilliant young ladies is simply because of the love that you constantly pour into them. Every single day, they are reminded that they are loved, cherished and honored through a hug, a reassuring word, a reprimand or a gentle kiss. The various roles you play as father, playmate and disciplinarian impact our girls in a tremendous way and sometimes I just sit back and stare. My own childhood would have been sweeter if I was blessed with a dad like you.
  5. I Love the way you are Protective of ALL the Ladies in your Life. You are like a tamed tiger, my tamed tiger- except when you sense danger. You have never left anyone in your care vulnerable to the attacks of anyone or anything whether it be your mother, sisters, our girls and most definitely not me! You’ll stop at nothing to ensure that we are protected in and out of your presence and it has not gone unnoticed. Thank you for protecting me, my body, my soul and my reputation. I love you for it!
  6. I Love that you are always Honest with me. It seems as though you are never afraid to tell me as it is, even if this involves sharing harsh details. This brutal honesty has by all means helped to refine me in so many ways. I am on my way to becoming the very best version of me that I could possibly be thanks to you. Love for me motivates you in this regard and I am all the better for it.
  7. I Love Being Loved by You. You have the most amazing and unique way of making me feel like I am the most gorgeous, sexy and brilliant woman in the whole wide world. In a crowded room; your eyes always find me. I know that I am never alone. Feeling the warmth of your admiration and attraction even from a great distance has now become my solace. You communicate to me on a higher stratosphere and we share a conversation without words. When you do speak your words claim me, you know me, and you’ve read me. You know the right words that stimulate a physiological response. At times I wonder if my arousal is on speed dial with you! You are the key to my heart.
  8. I Love the Way you Speak. Speaking looks so easy with you. Whether you are addressing a large group of people, or you are simply having a conversation with me, words flow from your lips with such ease. You are sophisticated, eloquent, highly intelligent and never lacking common sense. Many people stand in awe of you. You speak words of wisdom in ways many have never heard, and they flock to you desiring to gain some morsel from your lips. The youths love and respect you and you never cease to amaze me with your linguistic prowess.
  9. I Love your love and Commitment to ALL People. This very important Christian principle seeps out of you. Your love for all people has dissolved the barriers of culture, religion, age, race or economic status. You cannot be placed in box as your love is transcendent in nature. I recall my very first visit to your community when I was completely blown away by level of respect and admiration garnered as a youth. Both the young and the old loved you, even little babies adored you. I surmised that it was because you valued relationships, even though it came at a cost of being vulnerable. Out of all the things I love about you, this is the one I cherish the most.
  10. Finally the Thing I Love Most about you is that you are Passionate about your Faith. It truly has been a joy to watch you grow spiritually over the past eleven (11) years. Your love for God has only deepened with time. I am not one to speak on God’s behalf but I’m sure that He is pleased with you. I am certain that if you continue on this journey with Him, the possibilities are endless and I will be honored to be the one by your side.

I could pride myself in a plethora of achievements. Against all the obstacles present in my life, I can chronicle my success in many areas.  But as far as my mortal eyes have been able to behold, my greatest achievement to date was marrying you, Jaymie Pottinger. I am determined by God’s grace to spend the rest of my life Cherishing the Journey…our journey. And one day when our life has reached its sunset I will look back and say that “this life, our life together” has been my number one achievement.

Day Dream

It’s the season of love and Aprons ‘n Heels will be celebrating the blessing of intimacy within marriage for the next couple of posts. By design, marriage was created to be the most intimate relationship on earth. In this post Candice Williams sought to capture an episode of a wife daydreaming about an epic encounter with her husband. I hope as you read that you will be able to recreate a similar experience with your spouse in this the season of love.

I am vividly aware of the imprint of your hands caressing my body even though its midday and you’re not here. Thinking of your voice, that sweet whisper only I am allowed to hear when the sky is brushed with rich hues of indigo, orange and yellow. The sun is setting but here I am nestled like a sweet child in your arms.

Your diamond eyes search me through and through. There is no denying how deliriously I am in love with you. Every cell, every fiber of my being responds to your call. You have the keys to my heart. My breath is perfumed by one touch from your lips, and I am never satisfied, I am never full. Give me more to drink, my lover and friend. I am your instrument; play me like Beethoven’s 5th symphony and I will respond.

The intensity, the ferocity of your touch alarms me yet I am not afraid because you hunger for me and only me. Take from me to fill your desire, go deeper and deeper still. “Sun, stand still so I may know the depth, the width of his love”. But hush, I hear the beating of a drum in the distance; its rhythm is an enchanting one. Our hearts beat in sync and as we move to the beat of this drum, we who are two become one.

Romance novels have never told the tale well of two hearts united and blessed from above. Earth cannot contain us, and we beat against heaven’s door, catching a glimpse, if only for a moment. My love is quieted, and I am in his arms content as a suckling child. It’s midday and in an instant I’ve relived that moment so vividly, I cannot wait to come home.

Candice Williams is a Nurse by profession but is also an excellent writer, wife, mother and friend. She is currently working as a missionary in the Federated States of Micronesia.

Red Bottoms?

Red bottoms

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a lover of nice heels. When coming up with the name of this blog, the reaction I got was “I get it…that’s so you”. For me, a lady having a pair of red bottoms in the closet is akin to having a PhD in the field of ‘Shoeology’ and the statement it makes is “Yes, I have arrived” (without actually saying it).  It’s amazing how we females can communicate our approval without saying a word, and I have been on the doting end of the equation when it comes to “red bottoms”. Consequently, owning a pair of red bottoms has remained a permanent fixture on my wish list. In my daydreams I imagine my very rich great paternal grandfather shows up and bestows me a pair. Laugh if you may, but my current reality does not permit me acquiring a pair of shoes that could cost anywhere from $500 to $6,000 (US). So I’ll just dream on…..

Then it happened in late November while going through the newsfeed on my social media account. I froze. I saw an ad that immediately captivated my attention. Christian Louboutin was having a 90% off sale on shoes. Shoes that were usually going for $675 were now going for a fraction of that price. I was mesmerized. Red. Bottom. Shoes. I blurted it out as a staccato phrase. My interest was more than piqued, it was arrested.

 

My curiosity once indulged became “I just have to have one.” The excitement had me giggling like a school girl but before whipping out the credit card my conscience was awakened. There was only one hurdle in my way, my husband. We had agreed that any frivolous spending over $100 would call for the approval of the other spouse. A phone call wouldn’t do, he needed to enjoy a good home cooked meal, have a casual conversation, and then I’d tell him. The evening went as planned and after a very brief discussion  while he was very much distracted, I spilled it. I assumed he gave his consent when he did not oppose but simply gave an “I don’t think my permission even matters” response, then immediately went online and made the purchase. All blinders were on at the time.  It felt so good while I was making the purchase, it was an unnatural high; but,  as soon as I completed my purchase it suddenly hit me, “are these authentic brands?” It was my gut instinct kicking in.

It did not take very long to figure out that the shoes were counterfeits “How could they?” I made several attempts to have my order cancelled so that I could recoup the funds that I had spent, all without success. Foolish was the feeling I felt for not doing a better job at researching that this “counterfeit” website was not a genuine distributer of the brand. I felt like a number, just another victim of their deception and it hurt. I was really disappointed that I fell for it.  I knew better; nevertheless, I was tricked.

As I reflect on that experience, I thought about the encounter between Eve and the serpent. God told Eve what His expectations were. He told her that if she ate from a certain tree, she would die. The Devil simply packaged the lie and sold it to Eve and she bought it. I’ve come to realize that deception is one of the strongest tools that the enemy uses to defeat us in the Christian warfare. He sold her the benefits of her disobedience without disclosing the consequences or revealing the fine prints. He left out “thus saith the Lord” and that’s the part that mattered most.

How many times have we been made victims? The enemy tells us that we can embezzle company resources and not get caught; he shows us the nice car, the expensive clothing and all the good stuff; however, he doesn’t present the whole picture. He does not show us the time spent in jail along with the stress and embarrassment that it causes family. He shows us how we should ditch our lifeless marriage and find passion in a steamy affair; but, he does not show the widespread devastation it unleashes in every aspect of our lives. He shows us the satisfaction while concealing the deception.

Deception by the enemy is real. Instant gratification will always appear to be more alluring and attractive. But how do we win the victory over deception? How do we obtain the tools that will help us detect truth from error? We have to spend time learning about God’s Word. We have to sit at Jesus feet like Mary and learn of Him.

In Mark 13:21 Jesus cautions His disciples to beware of the pervasiveness of deception in the time of the end. Discerning error means that one must know truth. You must have a clear understanding of “thus saith the Lord.” One of the issues with my experience is that I was ignorant of the authentic distributors of Christian Louboutin. I did not spend adequate time researching the brand; hence, I failed in dustinguishing the counterfeit. Consequently, I am now on the email list of the authentic Christian Louboutin website, I’m keeping up to date.  Similarly, in John 15:5 Jesus also says of himself “I am the vine, and you are the branches.” It is not enough to know, we must be kept up to date, day by day abiding in his presence, studying the word and pleading for the Holy Spirit.

 

A relationship with God involves time. Set apart time to read His word to understand His nature, His standards, and His rules. It’s not a once and for all relationship and it calls for a daily sacrifice. Each day He gives us manna, the manna of discernment to uncover the deception of what we are being sold by the devil. Has God had an opportunity to download a message in your mailbox today?

 

When Rituals Failed Me

Most of us may have been affected by the situation written about in this guest post by my dear sister Roxanne McKoy-Chambers. Life sometimes gets in the way of our devotional lives and we just don’t get around to spending quality time in communion with him. As Roxanne shares her experience, I hope you will be able to see the love that God has for us even in these moments. 

My limited vocabulary would not allow me to adequately express the joy I felt as a mother  welcoming my second child (my baby girl) into our home. It did not take me very long to recognize that with this beautiful bundle of joy comes a major shift in every aspect of our lives. Our schedules were rearranged, there were constant demands and time spent with my older son seemed to dwindle.

Aware of the new challenges that this very major change would bring, I had a plan of action or so I thought. At an early age it was instilled in me that morning devotions were like a vaccination. This vaccination I concluded, would protect and help me withstand any challenges a day could bring. I soon realized that the shift also included my vaccination time. Not being able to cut out sufficient time at the beginning of each day made me feel as if I was lost and drifting far away from that still small voice of God.

I felt exposed and fearful that at any time the turmoil of life would just overtake me. My all or nothing approach to my devotional time caused me to look with disdain on a rushed word of prayer while I was busy attending to my motherly duties. I felt like I was disappointing God since He and I knew I was hurriedly rushing through the pages of the bible.

My motherly duties were competing with my need to spend quality time with God, but despite the pressing demands that came with my new reality, I still managed to be consistent with reading to my children their Sabbath school lesson.  A feeling of consolation swept through me as I reflected on my actions. It almost seemed as if I was saying “well I might be drifting from God but not you my children, you will stay close to him”.

x

Little did I know that studying God’s word for my children was as much for me as it was for them. Even though I was unable to fulfill my daily devotions the way I had grown accustomed  to, God did not expel me from His presence. He was still interested in me and would send a word of comfort when I really needed it.

The title of the lesson: “Paul and the shipwreck” immediately arrested my attention. In some ways this title was mirroring how I felt on the inside. Since I was suffering from the pangs of sleep depravity, I began reading the story emphatically while yielding the added benefits of allowing my children to remain interested. The story is recorded in Acts 27 and it tells of how Paul and the others were on a ship and the sea was calm when all of sudden a storm came and ravaged the ship. While everyone else around panicked Paul was calm. Unbeknownst to the others on the ship, an angel told Paul that not one of them would die but the ship would be lost.

As I sat there with my children enthused by the story and staring at the pictures, God spoke to me in a profound way. He pointed out that our lives are a lot like this story, there are times when everything in our life’s experience is going well. Then without a warning the storms of life inserts itself in the worse possible way. In this trying process we may lose our ship. Our ship may be our health, job, money, marriage, or even a loved one. God never promised that our ‘ship’ will always be speared the brunt of the storm, but we can claim the promise that during our time of despair, hopelessness, loss or time of spiritual drought that “whosoever call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved (Rom10:13).

These words from my children’s Sabbath school lesson were akin to “apples of gold in settings of silver”. Within a very short timeframe  of receiving these words of reassurance, I came face to face with my personal storms. Both my son and father were hospitalized at the same time. The demands of catering to their needs, the hospital visits and caring for my newborn began to take its toll on my body physically. I was not able to pray, meditate or do my bible studies, but God’s word stayed with me.

When I couldn’t carry myself anymore, God carried me upon His promises. His words of reassurance that “no power can take out of His (God) hands the souls that go to Him for pardon” (Patriarchs and Prophets 516) was held dear to my heart. It was right then I realized that it was never about my ability to hold on to God through my rituals but it was all about God’s ability to keep me through whatever circumstance I faced. I have now learned that my moments of quiet undisturbed quality time with God is not only meant to vaccinate me against the storms of life but it also keeps me in times of drought. The word was hid in my heart and when I needed it most, it spoke and said “I will never leave you nor forsake you”(Hebrews 13:5).

About the writer: Roxanne McKoy-Chambers is a mother, wife, friend and sister who enjoys sharing the word of God both in writing and through the  spoken word. A teacher by profession, Roxanne enjoys her role in shaping the lives of future generations. She is also an international speaker who has traveled to several countries sharing the good news of salvation.

Forgive and Forget!

This guest post by Candice Williams is guaranteed to inspire you as you seek to chart your course for 2016. Candice Williams is a Nurse by profession but is also an excellent writer, wife, mother and friend. She is currently working as a missionary in the Federated States of Micronesia. Please read and be blessed.

New Year resolutions seems so simple but hard. Part of that commitment means to forget and forgive the past. Forgetting and forgiving means choosing to set you free on a course where the biggest obstacle is no longer the flashing neon sign that says “Me”. The solution to resolutions is not merely to make new ones, it is also choosing to let go of memories that invoke fear.

Such power they hold in controlling the mind, though dead they come alive to taunt and ridicule when attempting to do things anew. These memories are like “minions” of the mind and they don’t care if you try, as long as you do half your best and never fully achieve the success you’d hoped for. Then the recent “failure” is seized and used as an effective tool to wreak additional havoc.

In medicine the term croup-countercoup comes to mind, it is an injury involving the brain where both sides are damaged following a sudden impact. The side that received the initial impact (coup) or blow and the side opposite the initial impact (countercoup) occur when the force of the initial blow is so great that it causes brain damage at the site where the brain hits the skull. Then the force of this “initial impact” causes additional damage as the brain moves in the opposite direction hitting the other side of the skull. I liken it to the brain playing “ping pong” within the skull.

Similarly in life, our initial experiences serves as the impact and the force of that experience hitting against us causes pain, and rightly so; however, further injustice is done when we allow that painful experience to control us, forging us into a weapon used against ourselves. No other weapon is as effective and proves to be as fatal! That is why it is necessary to forget. Forget what is behind and forge ahead, isn’t that what the apostle Paul said (Philippians 3:13)? Paul knew that a life well lived is a life straining towards a mark, a life with purpose.

Forget that you’ve tried a hundred times before, and try once more with the same excitement, the same determination as if it were the first time. Next, forgive yourself and forgive yourself again! I’m sure you haven’t met the 70 times 7 quota. It’s not just meant for others. Humbly look into that mirror and pardon “you”.  This gift called the “present” is meant to be seized. Be fully committed to the here and now because herein lies the power to awaken desire and the will once awakened is a great force of nature, not to be trifled with! Do you have doubts? Have you seen the will of a two year old in action? Seize the moment! Gain victory after victory and strength will be added to resolve which in return towers over the failures of yesterday.

God has done this! God has given you my friend this incredible mind that can turn any failure into the best success story. Won’t you trust Him with the heart of a child to forgive and forget the past?

Old Swede Road

Mornings usually include waking up at 6:00 AM to have my private devotion and then to wake the girls up by 6:30 AM to get started on their day. So as to be on time, I have allotted a 2-3 minute buffer for this activity since I must daily debate, I must argue and ultimately convince them that going to school is important and waking up at that time is not an option. My husband has a much easier time and just at the mention of their individual names they awaken from the deepest slumber with such ease. Since nature has not granted me that deep, full voice that vibrates even to the panels of the wooden floor, I’ve accepted this daily struggle. Amidst all the chaos that follows, intermittently my eyes would gaze at the clock to see whether or not I am on track in my morning routine. Every activity down to the girls unscheduled bathroom trips has an allotted time.

It’s inconceivable to be out of sync, as my whole day depends on the seamless execution of my morning ritual. There have been times where just a couple of minutes off proved to be disastrous to the rest of my day. Traffic signals stand still, no parking at the school for drop off, and honking horns remind me of my failure to be true to my timeline and for me, my day can kick start or die at a specific location. That place is none other than Old Swede Road. Old Swede Road is a major thoroughfare that can make or ruin mornings, and what’s more it has the power to spread its deadly tentacles to send the rest of my day to hell. To hell because that’s what it feels like stuck behind a school bus going 25mph on a road meant to be driven at 45mph! There is no redemption and I’m left with time to think of the million ways I could have avoided this undesirable encounter with Old Swede Road.

You may be laughing at the frivolity of this morning ritual but it is a hypothesis that has been tested and proven. Like clock-work (pun intended), whenever I miss this important milestone I find myself encountering more red lights on the way to school, then the school doors are shut so I have to ring the bell, then I just stand there waiting for the door to be opened, then my daughter seems flustered so I have to go in and make sure she’s fine and the list goes on and on and on. These delays further contribute to me arriving late for work and with a series of ongoing negative outcomes, my mood is thrown off and I mentally prepare myself for a very bad day.

Being able to successfully meet Old Swede Road within the desired timeframe is the key to the success of my days, weeks, months and even years! On one occasion, I sought to share this ritual with a friend and the word she used describe it was “sabotage”. As soon as the word descended from her lips I had an epiphany. She was right! I was sabotaging my days by making my mornings the barometer through which I gauged my entire day. In anticipation of a day that was ruined, my mind was already programmed in a negative way. Achieving something great that would have normally taken little effort now seemed impossible due to the bad start. I had successfully used my disappointment in a minuscule area as a crutch to hang my failures upon, and in one sweep robbed the other activities of my day from the positive energy that I would have normally given it.

Can you identify your Old Swede Road? How many times have your days, or life been thrown off by one event that was considered to be a failure? How many days that turned into weeks did you allow an argument to dictate your mood? Could your Old Swede Road be that childhood experience that left you grief-stricken, broken, lost, or abused? Is it the academic goals you failed to achieve before arriving at a certain age? Is it that goal weight that you have been working on since the birth of your first child who is passed the age to blame? Could it be the mistake you made as a wife, mother, sister or child that has left wounds that will last a lifetime? And are these events preventing you from living a wholesome life? Do you feel that because of these failures everything else in life deserves little or no effort?

As justifiable as it may seem in our human experience to make excuses for the outcome of our lives, based failures, hurt or disappointment encountered, there are lessons to be gleaned from the life of the prodigal son. The prodigal son chose failure. Though not all at once, his life was a downward spiral and every day the decisions he made sunk him lower. It seemed that he couldn’t get past the junction of his “Old Swede Road” when he entreated the father to give him his portion of the inheritance. I imagine that the day of that exchange kept playing like a broken record in his mind, and only when he stood at death’s door did he have the gumption to face that junction once more. His life my friend, provides a stark reminder that as humans we are going to do what humans do we fail. We fail to meet deadlines! We fail to attain our goals! We fail to say the right things to the ones we love! Let’s admit that we are all failures, but mercy says we don’t have to stay there! And we shouldn’t need a brush with death to awaken us either! Boldly come to the throne pleading for mercy to pardon you and grace to empower you to live a victorious life (Heb 4:16). The Father has His arms wide open and in His arms  we can lay down our burdens.

So you’ll be glad to know that Old Swede Road remains the same, but the difference is me. I don’t know about you but I am ready to forget the mistakes and failures of 2015. I am ready to walk into 2016 anticipating great things! I am not interested in sabotaging my progress by entertaining a negative mindset. I am ready to be “transformed by the renewing of my mind”, to bask in God’s bounteous love that extends beyond my mortal weaknesses. To walk in the positive and my Old Swede Road experience will no more prevent me from doing that, how about you?