Tag: submission

By: Chauna-Kaye Pottinger

Last week, we got a little spicy as we talked about Enticement. Yes, it’s the fun part of marriage. It involves secret winks, playful texts, and surprise kisses. You might even make a little extra effort in the perfume department. If you missed that post, go back and catch up. We spilled some serious tea on keeping the spark alive in Christian marriages!

This week, though… we’re shifting gears. We’re leaning into a word that makes some folks want to duck and run for cover: Submission.

Yep. That S-word. Next week we will talk about the next one (wink).

Let’s take a moment to breathe. Before your inner independent woman starts rolling her eyes or your husband starts smiling a little too hard, let’s get into what biblical submission really means. Because, friend, it’s not what the world has made it out to be.

“Submission” is Not a Dirty Word

Let’s be honest: submission often gets a bad reputation. We’ve been given a version that looks more like hierarchy than harmony. For the modern spouse, the idea of “submitting” can feel like an attack on autonomy. This is especially true for those of us who’ve been holding things down at home. We’ve also maintained responsibilities at work, in ministry, and in our communities. It can also feel like a call to silence your voice. But biblical submission isn’t about erasing identity — it’s about embracing purpose.

Let’s rewind to the very beginning: Genesis 2:18. God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

That word helper in Hebrew is Ezer Kenegdo, and whew — it’s got some power behind it.

Ezer Kenegdo: The Helper with a Sword

The phrase Ezer Kenegdo doesn’t mean “maid” or “assistant” or “quiet little shadow.” It means a powerful aid — someone who comes alongside to protect, defend, and strengthen. In fact, the word Ezer is used to describe God Himself multiple times in the Old Testament — like in Psalm 33:20, where God is called our “help and our shield.”

Let that sink in.

The same word used to describe the role of the wife is the same one used for God when He shows up to rescue and defend His people.

That’s not weakness. That’s divine reinforcement.

So no, ladies — you were not created to be a footnote in your husband’s story. You were made to be the co-author. Your role is not about blind obedience or living in silence. It’s about partnership, covering, and helping your spouse walk boldly in their God-given purpose. And husbands, this submission conversation? It’s not one-sided.

Mutual Submission: It’s a Two-Way Street

Let’s flip over to Ephesians 5, where Paul gives us the submission speech. You know the one: “Wives, submit to your husbands…” (Cue the sighs and side-eyes.)

But hold on.

Just one verse before that, in Ephesians 5:21, Paul says:
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

There it is — mutual submission. Before Paul ever addresses the wives, he speaks to both spouses and establishes the foundation: We are all called to submit to one another in Christ.

And then Paul goes even deeper — he tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25)

Now, if we’re really being honest, that’s the heavier lift. Christ’s love wasn’t passive. It was sacrificial. He served, washed feet, and laid down His life. That’s the model husbands are called to follow. Submission is not domination; it’s devotion.

When both spouses are submitted to God and to each other, it doesn’t feel like one person is dragging the other. Instead, it feels like two people dancing in rhythm. Each steps in time with grace and humility.

A Fortress Built on Unity

Submission, when lived out biblically, is not a cage — it’s a covering. It creates an atmosphere where both spouses feel safe, seen, and supported. It’s where we say, “I’ve got your back,” not “I’m above you.” And in a world that often pits couples against each other in power struggles, submission invites us to build a fortress where God is the cornerstone, and we’re each other’s fiercest allies.

Coming Up Next: Let’s Talk About Sex (Yes, Really!)

Now that we’ve cleared the air on submission, get ready — next week, we’re diving into the next brick in our Love Fortress: Sexual Satisfaction.

We’ll talk about why intimacy is more than just physical, how to reconnect when things feel distant, and why God actually smiles on married sex (yes, the Song of Solomon is in your Bible for a reason!).

So stay tuned, invite a friend to the Fortress Builder Series, and remember: when God is the architect of your marriage, every brick — even the tricky ones — leads to something beautiful.

Chauna-Kaye Pottinger is a devoted Christian residing in sunny Orlando, Florida. As a loving wife and mother, she gracefully balances her roles with a fervent dedication to her faith. Chauna-Kaye’s heart is set on reaching Heaven, and she channels her passion into inspiring everyone she encounters to embark on the same spiritual journey. Through her blog, she shares insights, experiences, and unwavering enthusiasm for a life centered on faith and eternal purpose. Join Chauna-Kaye as she navigates the path to Heaven, encouraging others to walk alongside her in this transformative quest.